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Hypothesis: if women are worse at parking, it’s only because they’ve been lied to about what eight inches is their entire lives


(Source: collectiveassbutts, via thebeetuslife)

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long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about

(Source: flapwagon, via pizza)

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when your teacher talks for an extra 30 seconds after class is supposed to end

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