if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
Ladies real talk
imagine your otp punching each other right in the faceIMAGINE?!!?!?
does stabbing count?
i wasted my last bagel my life is over
Just get some bread and cut out a circle
i have never been so offended in my entire life
i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”